He is

Living half way around the world from "home", has it's challenges. One of them being so far away when an emergency strikes at home and recognizing there is no way you can get home fast enough, especially when there is almost 30 hrs. of travel in front of you.

Well, one year ago today Carsten and I hopped on a plane Seattle bound to be with my dad at the hospital where he would spend 27 days trying to get the dr.'s to figure out what on earth was going on after a back surgery followed by a 911 call.

Today I sit here and Doug has made an emergency trip to the states to be with his family after his dad, Gordon, suffered cardiac arrest followed by a drug induced coma. Just talked with Doug on video skype (which I thank God for giving someone the brains to figure that one out). Gordon is making progress each day, even by the hour. For a time we were not sure if he would even make it, he is now sitting up, walking with a walker a bit, drinking coffee, recognizing most people, etc. We still don't know the end result of his condition, but God does!

It has reminded me to stop and recognize who God is! And what I am needing him to be.
He is my healer, healing Gordon. Our provider, providing funds for Doug to even go home without stress on our personal budget. My strength, for our family to lean on, for me to lean on as my husband is half a world away and I play the role of a single mom of three kiddos. My truth, when my mind tends to wander in the "what if" direction, He brings me back to his truth. My joy, providing times of laughter when I need it most. I could go on and on.

Though I wish I could be there too, being with the family, going to Starbucks, eating pizza, etc. I thank God for life and life to the full.

one of those moments

I facilitate a bible study that meets in my living room of 21 women. It is a highlight of me week. I look forward every week to Wednesday mornings 9.30-12ish! We are in the middle of the Ester study by Beth Moore and I had a "spiritual highlighter" moment, when the words seem to leap off of the page to you as if it were written just for you! Here it goes, hang with me:

"The hard truth of Mordecai's exhortation to Esther also applies to us. We can refuse to walk in obedience to God or cower in fear from our calling and He will undoubtedly still accomplish His agenda. As for us, however, we will pass up the fulfillment of our own entire life-purpose and we-and perhaps even "our father's family"-will miss a might work. Frighteningly, perhaps even a mighty deliverance."
"All of them will require the most difficult decision w think we can make. Decisions that we may feel will practically kill us. Then God does something miraculous and we become something we're not. That's when the "who knows?" becomes "I know"."

When I came across this I felt like she explained part of my life just there. I remember the whole missions process, or even backing up a bit, the thought of even dating Doug knowing full well he was called to missions, but I only felt called to do more of the short term stuff in between teaching, like summer trips to Mexico. So when the time came and Doug pulled me into the nursery at our church and told me that the church had approached him to pay off our school loans so we could go in a few years, I felt sick. Like this was the hardest thing I could do. Never living more than 45 min away from my parents and Kylea only one year old, yikes. But now, hindsight, that was only one small step to God being the "I know".
I am so gratful for a God who I do not totally understand or even comprehend, but completely trust!